Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Pull My Finger of God

Hey, Craigslist! What's going on?

Oh...this. Let's investigate. I'm always checking out the freelance-writing gigs on the Craigslist, since it's not like I'm getting paid to blog, but most of the ads make me want to shove my head into an Underwood typewriter. Here's an example.

Looking for a published science fiction author to collaborate on a new book.

All right. I'm not a published science fiction author, unless you count "Journey to the Center of Your Mother," which was published in a collection called 'Yo Mama' Jokes That Don't Make No Sense. But I'll read on, anyway.

Must have published at least 3 successful books of your own. 

Really? Is having just two "successful" books not good enough? What leap of skill occurs from that second book to the third?

My story takes place in the not so distant future. 

Okay. So you mean it takes place, like, soon. Or next Thursday.

The title is "Finger of God".

Are you sure this is science fiction?

I have a good idea of the story but I need someone to do research into details and write dialogue and action. 

Now I'm thinking of a finger. So...you have like an idea for a story, and you want someone — a published author with at least three real books under her belt — to do that mindless busy-work of details(?) and dialogue and action. You know, instead of finishing and publishing her fourth novel, so she can answer Craigslist ads that require you to have published "at least four" books.

Beginners please do not apply.

Of course not. But I think if a multi-published author (of at least three successful books) actually did apply, that would be science fiction.

1 comment:

  1. A few years ago, back when I was still living my childhood dream of continuing to live in the idyllic New Jersey I grew up in, I used to drive by this business that had a sign up in big bold letters that said "WANTED: EXPERIENCED SALES PERSON IN THE JANITORIAL SERVICE SUPPLY INDUSTRY." It seemed to me like you could hire someone with a sales background and teach him about janitorial supplies or take someone who had experience in the janitorial service supply industry and see if that person would work out as a sales person. It seemed to me like an extremely specific requirement for this rinky-dink company with water stains on the side of their building to have for their sales force.