Pieces of Me

This space for rent.

So anyway, I'm getting old. As I approach, in less than a month, an age that is considered in some cultures a milestone and in other cultures the moment when you suddenly lose all your hair and you're legally obligated to harangue the kids to GET OFF MY LAWN, I expect that I'll be reflecting in near-future blog posts on how the advancement of that age is taking its toll on my everyday life.

AND MY POINT IS
In other words, I'm not getting any younger. And, as a bonus, I've acquired many of the accoutrements of...well, not the elderly, but definitely the olderly.

I've worn glasses since sixth grade, but I should have started wearing them much earlier. I used to think my right eye had normal vision and my left was super-exceptional, but a trip to an ophthalmologist taught me that my left eye's vision was actually below-average and if right eye's vision were any poorer it would be on welfare and I'd be appearing on the Maury show to find out who's the father of my eye's six children.

Here are a few other things that have become as much of a part of me as those glasses. Are you ready?

And I'll Be Prepared, If I Ever Decide to Become a Cross-Dresser

It might strike with you with surprise to learn that I have a slight obsession with fashion blogs, considering that I demonstrate none of the hallmarks of someone who has an interest in fashion, which could include:

• Subscribing to Vogue (even though I do know who "A.L.T." is)
  
• Following the Fashion Week runway shows
• Watching fashion-based reality programming like that Tyra Banks show or the other one the name of which I can’t recall because I don’t watch it

There are women who would kill for this bag. And by that I mean, commit capital murder.

Nor does my own wardrobe reflect any real interest in fashion; the most accurate way I can describe my ""style"" (I put that in double-double quotes because my style isn't worthy of even a single set) is “feeble attempts to minimize embarrassment.”

This logo drives some women into a frenzy.

Yet I find myself drawn to a category of blogs whose common elements seem to be:

• A blog name that's warm and fuzzy, occasionally treacly
• An almost daily photo of the author in her current outfit – usually several views of the same outfit
• The outfits could be expensive, but in many cases the blog is mostly about "style on a budget"
• A detailed description of said outfit, which could include where and why its parts were purchased
• References to other blog posts where parts of today’s outfit were matched with different pieces to create an entirely new outfit
• A handful or more of comments from readers complimenting the author on her outfit
• Pictures of clothing and shoes that the author wishes to purchase but cannot (because of price or availability), has just purchased, or has just received
• Giveaways of makeup and clothing, either from personal stock or from a sponsor
• Vacation pictures, either with a significant other or a dozen of her closest bestest love-ya-forever friends
• Photos and descriptions of delicious meals eaten at restaurants or cooked at home, usually something exotic like risotto or paella or tapas or fish tacos
• Photos and descriptions of delicious desserts eaten at restaurants or baked at home, usually cupcakes
• An impressive number of fellow bloggers who have signed up as followers, usually numbering in the hundreds