Lists of Lists, Volume 1

Sorry, but no.

Hello! I spent today (that is, yesterday, when I actually wrote this post) driving Father of The Anthony Show to Mount Sinai Hospital in Manhattan to see the cardiologist who will be performing the mitral valve repair surgery on him next month. The meeting went well and we had good weather and relatively decent traffic, but I am friggin' drained, so I was brainstorming for ideas for The Anthony Show posts that would require little effort on my part yet deliver the entertainment value and laugh/cry/offend/yawn ratio that you've come to expect from The Anthony Show.

Surprisingly, even before I cracked open my first can of Pabst Blue Ribbon of the evening, I was able on hit an idea that I can expand into an ongoing series.

Thus, I present "Lists of Lists."


THINGS THAT YOU MIGHT LIKE THAT I DO NOT LIKE BUT WHICH I DON'T HOLD AGAINST YOU FOR LIKING

1. Dogs
2. Seafood
3. The Matrix trilogy
4. Port wine
5. Justin Bieber
6. Lady Gaga
7. Some Kevin Smith films
8. Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY)
9. Black Swan
10. Men's loafers

THINGS THAT YOU MIGHT LIKE THAT I DO NOT LIKE BUT WHICH I WILL HOLD AGAINST YOU FOR LIKING, AND I MEAN LIKING FOR REALS NOT IN AN IRONIC SORT OF WAY (NOTE: NOT A COMPLETE LIST)

1. The Dallas Cowboys
2. Ke$ha
3. Any TV show featuring a Kardashian
4. Tyler Perry films
5. That "sport" where people jump from one building to the other, I think it's called "parkour" or something
6. Some Kevin Smith films
7. Most Steve Martin films that don't contain the word "Jerk" in the title
8. Most anime
9. The Black Eyed Peas
10. The Golden Globes

THINGS I LIKE THAT I DON'T KNOW WHY I LIKE THEM AND WHICH I WOULD PROBABLY HOLD AGAINST MYSELF IF I WERE AN IDENTICAL TWIN WHO DID NOT LIKE THE SAME THINGS THE OTHER ME LIKED

1. Katy Perry
2. Dirty Dancing
3. One or two Insane Clown Posse songs
4. Fashion blogs
5. Genoa salami

THINGS I LIKE THAT I THINK YOU SHOULD LIKE AND WHICH YOU WOULD BE CRAZY NOT TO LIKE

1. Trailer Park Boys
2. A Confederacy of Dunces
3. Certain varieties of Crumbs cupcakes
4. At least the first episode of that crazy new show on Cartoon Network, Problem Solverz
5. "Back in Black" (the song, not necessarily the entire album)
6. Chubby babies
7. The first two Godfather films (and not the third, and not the novel)
8. Certain (but definitely not all) Martin Scorcese films 
9. Louis C.K.

THINGS PEOPLE ASSUME I LIKE BUT IN FACT DO NOT LIKE AND THIS INCLUDES THINGS I PROBABLY SHOULD LIKE BUT WHAT CAN I SAY, I DO NOT LIKE THEM

1. Family Guy
2. Indian Food
3. Most of the output from The Beastie Boys
   
4. Strawberries
5. Comedies like Anchorman and Old School

WAYS I DO NOT WISH TO DIE

1. Drowning
2. Falling off my roof from putting up the Christmas lights that Mrs. The Anthony Show insisted I install because that's what Christmas is all about
3. Anything where I'm wearing underwear that's not clean
4. From a bag of swallowed cocaine exploding somewhere in my duodenum
5. In a horrible but ironic time-machine disaster
6. Being buried alive...with a spider
7. While listening to the Black Eyed Peas

FUTURE LISTS THAT WILL APPEAR IN FUTURE "LISTS OF LISTS" POSTS

1. Things I ate and/or drank shortly before vomiting
2. Stanley Kubrick films I have seen and which you must see
3. Things I say when I don't want to give a yes or no answer
4. People I would like to punch in the face (or, if that sounds too violent, "pie" in the face)
5. What I would do if I won the lottery
6. Possible last words if I were about to face a firing squad
7. Favorite episodes of SpongeBob SquarePants
8. Reasons why I'm ending this blog