Like the Most Memorable Scene in "There's Something About Mary," but Not Really

I know I used this image before, but it's an
accurate representation of what my
groggy state felt like in the morning.

Here we go with the thrilling conclusion to my three-part series, "The Anthony Show Goes to the Sleep Center." I've discussed my arrival, being wired to a machine, and an evening that included one of the craziest dreams I've even had.

Today I'll tell you all how it ended.

After being roused by my caretaker, Harold, he quickly went to work removing the wires that were attached to my head, chest, and legs, as well as whatever it was that was wrapped around the front of my face and protruded into my nose, and the red light that was taped to my finger.

"How'd you sleep?" he asked.

"I don't know," I replied. "I guess you'll let me know in a week." Harold chuckled softly.

I Hope the Sleep Study Can't Record My Dreams!

What Steve-O of Jackass
will look like in 30 years,
if Steve-O lives that long.

When I previously blogged, I was dealing with a somewhat fitful night of slumber at the sleep center. I'd already woken up a couple of times and had to summon my caretaker, Harold, to unhook from a machine all the wires attached to my head, chest, and legs so I could take a leak.

Eventually I fell asleep again, and then I had The Dream, which I'll try to explain in as much detail as possible.

Keep in mind that I didn't "write" this dream, so I can't necessarily be held responsible for the weirdness that was crafted by my subconscious. I'm sure you've all had crazy dreams, too, dreams that are rendered crazier when you're sleeping in a strange bed.

So anyway, here it is...

You'd Think a "Sleep Study" Would as Easy as, uh, Sleeping

Home sweet home!

This is a busy month for me, healthwise. At the end of July, I'm having the first of two carpal tunnel syndrome surgeries, followed by the removal of a non-working vein in my leg. Since I've turned 40, I've started to address some of my lingering ailments.

Sunday night I continued the process of dealing with what could possibly be sleep-related issues. I always feel tired, but I'd chalked that up to having children in the house and my late bedtimes, which routinely exceed midnight. But Mrs. The Anthony Show has noted that I occasionally snore (and by "noted" I mean "would smother me with a pillow if she weren't so groggy because of the fact that"), so I made an appointment with a sleep specialist, who, after hearing my response to a number of questions about my sleep habits, suggested I go to the sleep center for a study.